Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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