You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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