I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize