Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
