Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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