i don't like sucking hair
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
