why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
