i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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