these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
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