i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
