'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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