I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
