well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Randomize
