u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
