I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Liz is crying about burritos again.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize