I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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