how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
