On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
