You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
