I wannas sexs uuuuu
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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