I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
We have started to decorate penises.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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