This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
