Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
