So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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