Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize