If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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