So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
