Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize