would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
