if i can run in heels then i can drive
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
