its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
