It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
he puts the penis in happiness.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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