dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
