let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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