no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
