It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
