He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
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