that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
