I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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