"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
