My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
