i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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