I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
