Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
