and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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