Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I party with great urgency now.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
