Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize