the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
