he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
