Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
