wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
