If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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