I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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