i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
