I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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