We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize
