dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
