whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Less talking, more tequila
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
