I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
