I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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