it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
