i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
