I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
