Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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