So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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