And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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