Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
