6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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