I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
