I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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