I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
