Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
as a side note pls kill me
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
