You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Randomize
